It's that moment when there is so much to say, you can't say anything.
I have done so much thinking since I've been here in Scotland. Some of it has come through on this blog, and you've seen that if you've been reading, but not all of it has.
I'm glad for all this thinking; I was predicting/hoping I would do this much thinking and reflecting. Being so far away from what I know is an obvious way to push me out of my comfort zone and force me to focus on what matters, what I want to do, where and who I want to be.
Obviously, I haven't gotten everything figured out, but pieces are falling together and more than ever I'm feeling God's presence.
So I won't pour out all the thoughts boiling in my brain, threatening to bubble out from my tongue. I will leave you with some of my favorite quotes that I've written in journals and such over the past year and that I read through today. I see even more relevant (and new) meaning in them now than I probably did when I scribbled them down.
"Leaving home in a sense involves a kind of second birth in which we give birth to ourselves." -Robert Neelly Bellah
"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and
see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to
die, Discover that I had not lived." -H.D. Thoreau
"And the danger is that in this move toward new horizons and far directions, that I may lose what I have now, and not find anything except loneliness." -Sylvia Plath (but she's always a bit depressing, am I right?)
"There ain't no way you can hold onto something that wants
to go, you understand? You can only love what you got while you got
it." -Because of Winn-Dixie, Kate DiCamillo
"Nothing remains as it was. If you can know this, you can begin again, with pure joy in the uprooting." -Judith Minty
and maybe my favorite quote, from my favorite book (so far), Jane Eyre, "It is in vain to say human beings ought
to be satisfied with tranquility: they must have action; and they
will make it if they cannot find it."
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Day 21: Three Weeks
To the tune of "One Week" by Barenaked Ladies (for all those to whom this is not apparent)
It's been..
Three weeks since in Aberdeen,
Cock my head to the side and say, "Really?"
Five days is like all it seems, saying
Gettin' it together, comin' so easy
In my flat, I stay in my room,
I realize that's most my fault, but Jenkins smells, too.
Really hope you're forgivin' me--
was a cruel joke 'bout my flatmate, and I say I'm sorry.
Hold it now and watch my rhyme skills
As I make you get chills
You'll think you're listening to Eminem
I put veggies in my dish, although I like the meat and Swiss
Too poor for sushi
And that is why I'm crying, man.
Just like my 5p when I see dimes
Get caught for fraud crimes
Because I'm using foreign currency,
Annie Lennox got the mad hits
She needed babysits, 'cuz this is where she went to preschool.
Gonna make a break and take a fake
I'd like a stinkin choc'late shake
Or a vanilla, it's the finest of the flavours
Just want ice cream though, cause don't ya'll know
Need my tummy to grow
Cause it's so very cold,
I've thrown away my shaver...
How can I help it if I think it's funny I'm post grad
Growin' up like a champ makes me feel sad
I'm the kind of "quine" who laughs at a funeral
Kilts underwhich there is none
Gimme quite a thrill.
I have a tendency to right my mind in my blog
I have a history of doing silly things
It's been three weeks since in Aberdeen.
Throw my arms in the air
and say "That's crazy."
Hope you appreciate.
Yes, yes three weeks, and isn't that lovely. My midweek weekend has started, I even had a class cancelled today. So I came home and slept for five hours...Normal.
Jenkins has informed me that he's trying to transfer to new housing. We shall see how that goes; honestly I haven't developed full thoughts on what I feel about this, but, I think as long as I get a new flatmate in his place I'd be fine with it.
If I don't, I'll just have to find other places to be a lot so I'm not lonely/ I'll just invite someone to come live with me, the school would never know there was an occupant in the extra bedroom. Anyone not tied down and trying to move to Scotland? Lemme know.
It's been..
Three weeks since in Aberdeen,
Cock my head to the side and say, "Really?"
Five days is like all it seems, saying
Gettin' it together, comin' so easy
In my flat, I stay in my room,
I realize that's most my fault, but Jenkins smells, too.
Really hope you're forgivin' me--
was a cruel joke 'bout my flatmate, and I say I'm sorry.
Hold it now and watch my rhyme skills
As I make you get chills
You'll think you're listening to Eminem
I put veggies in my dish, although I like the meat and Swiss
Too poor for sushi
And that is why I'm crying, man.
Just like my 5p when I see dimes
Get caught for fraud crimes
Because I'm using foreign currency,
Annie Lennox got the mad hits
She needed babysits, 'cuz this is where she went to preschool.
Gonna make a break and take a fake
I'd like a stinkin choc'late shake
Or a vanilla, it's the finest of the flavours
Just want ice cream though, cause don't ya'll know
Need my tummy to grow
Cause it's so very cold,
I've thrown away my shaver...
How can I help it if I think it's funny I'm post grad
Growin' up like a champ makes me feel sad
I'm the kind of "quine" who laughs at a funeral
Kilts underwhich there is none
Gimme quite a thrill.
I have a tendency to right my mind in my blog
I have a history of doing silly things
It's been three weeks since in Aberdeen.
Throw my arms in the air
and say "That's crazy."
Hope you appreciate.
Yes, yes three weeks, and isn't that lovely. My midweek weekend has started, I even had a class cancelled today. So I came home and slept for five hours...Normal.
Jenkins has informed me that he's trying to transfer to new housing. We shall see how that goes; honestly I haven't developed full thoughts on what I feel about this, but, I think as long as I get a new flatmate in his place I'd be fine with it.
If I don't, I'll just have to find other places to be a lot so I'm not lonely/ I'll just invite someone to come live with me, the school would never know there was an occupant in the extra bedroom. Anyone not tied down and trying to move to Scotland? Lemme know.
Monday, October 8, 2012
Day 20: On My Own
The deleting of my Twitter account happened yesterday. I don't even have anything against Twitter; in fact, I probably have less against Twitter than I do against Facebook. However, Facebook at this moment is a necessary evil and deleting it would mean severely limiting the contact I could have with my beloved Americans. Twitter, I enjoy, but it's a purposeless enjoyment. It might bring me a laugh or two on the daily, but I've found that I mindlessly scroll through my news feed too often, just because I am bored and feel like I have nothing else to do. Then, I post things that I could just write on this, or keep to myself, or tell someone in particular. I just realized that I don't really feel the need to broadcast my thoughts to everyone who follows me (not like its really much of a crowd).
If I keep more things to myself, maybe they will turn into greater things later that can inspire a greater thought process, rather than being an immediate splash of words for me to get off my chest and have others glance at momentarily, if noticing them at all, while I forget them completely.
Plus, I just kinda want to distance myself from this desire for social media and constant interaction. For almost a year I was completely devoid of any of it, and I enjoyed that. But when I came back to Facebook, I went all in and got a Twitter soon after, then a tumblr, and then a Pinterest. Well, I don't use tumblr anymore, and I won't get rid of Pinterest because more than anything its just USEFUL! and fun. so many recipes that I actually try, and it provides me with inspiration for art and such. But, the point is, I need to limit. Eventually I hope to get rid of the Facebook again, life was so much better and less wasted without it. But not yet, for now I must wait.
These ramblings were actually written last night, and hence, it is hilarious that for the second week in a row, my Sunday contemplations have led perfectly into issues brought up in class on Monday:
Mondays are setting a trend for being thought-provocative days. My Digital Age class again caused a fire to swell inside of me. Not this time with sentimentality towards the written book, but with a (I now see it as a truly American notion) vigor to protect and maintain my liberty and privacy. Big Brother is at it, all over Europe, but more so the UK apparently, and people are okay with this?! "CCTV" is watching people at all moments in public, on buses, on the streets, and in the universities and schools. "To protect the citizens and work as a preventative measure, for keeping the peace" or whatever, but now they're implementing audio tracking as well! So that hateful/prejudicial speech can be monitored and stamped out.
Maybe it's just me (and in my class today it was), but this view that cameras and recordings are the best way to keep a society in line is complete ridiculousness. A society should be able to function through the character of its own citizens, aka if someone is being a racist jerk, then the people around should be upstanding enough to tell that person directly, not wait for The All-Seeing Eye to send a minion out to swoop down and punish. This practice seems to be a demoralizing one. Why would people continue to feel responsibility in standing up for their convictions and for the Good, when they think someone else is already in line to do it for them, someone sitting behind a TV monitor...
This discussion was included in the broader discussion that the world is becoming more visible in all ways. People disclose their lives or most parts of it on Facebook, Twitter, and other ways that are seen by hundreds of "friends" and possible others, too. My teacher was saying that in ten years we will be laughing that we thought "audio recordings of our actions in public was something to be hesitant about" and saying that everyone will be used to having their lives in the public domain, it will just be written in their minds that it is "normal."
He was making the point that everyone wants to be normal, so if it is normal that everyone is hooked into social media to such a great extent, then everyone will do it. Likening it to the fact of everyone having a mobile phone now: if you don't, you aren't normal, you are strange; cell phones have become basically necessary since it is how everyone communicates. He then asked the class "who wants to be strange, or doesn't mind being excluded from society or regarded as normal?" I raised my hand. To hell with Society! Bah!
This is making me almost choose to not get a cell plan over here at all. Who WANTS to be normal? Not I and especially not on the platform that it means being so plugged in to the digital environment that I am losing touch with the REAL WORLD AROUND ME. The lands I travel to, the BOOKS I READ, the sights I see; if they are all seen through a lens of virtual existence then what even IS there?!
I hope that as a global community we don't continue to slide down this slippery slope, and that people will realize technology is a tool not a lifestyle.
If I keep more things to myself, maybe they will turn into greater things later that can inspire a greater thought process, rather than being an immediate splash of words for me to get off my chest and have others glance at momentarily, if noticing them at all, while I forget them completely.
Plus, I just kinda want to distance myself from this desire for social media and constant interaction. For almost a year I was completely devoid of any of it, and I enjoyed that. But when I came back to Facebook, I went all in and got a Twitter soon after, then a tumblr, and then a Pinterest. Well, I don't use tumblr anymore, and I won't get rid of Pinterest because more than anything its just USEFUL! and fun. so many recipes that I actually try, and it provides me with inspiration for art and such. But, the point is, I need to limit. Eventually I hope to get rid of the Facebook again, life was so much better and less wasted without it. But not yet, for now I must wait.
These ramblings were actually written last night, and hence, it is hilarious that for the second week in a row, my Sunday contemplations have led perfectly into issues brought up in class on Monday:
Mondays are setting a trend for being thought-provocative days. My Digital Age class again caused a fire to swell inside of me. Not this time with sentimentality towards the written book, but with a (I now see it as a truly American notion) vigor to protect and maintain my liberty and privacy. Big Brother is at it, all over Europe, but more so the UK apparently, and people are okay with this?! "CCTV" is watching people at all moments in public, on buses, on the streets, and in the universities and schools. "To protect the citizens and work as a preventative measure, for keeping the peace" or whatever, but now they're implementing audio tracking as well! So that hateful/prejudicial speech can be monitored and stamped out.
Maybe it's just me (and in my class today it was), but this view that cameras and recordings are the best way to keep a society in line is complete ridiculousness. A society should be able to function through the character of its own citizens, aka if someone is being a racist jerk, then the people around should be upstanding enough to tell that person directly, not wait for The All-Seeing Eye to send a minion out to swoop down and punish. This practice seems to be a demoralizing one. Why would people continue to feel responsibility in standing up for their convictions and for the Good, when they think someone else is already in line to do it for them, someone sitting behind a TV monitor...
This discussion was included in the broader discussion that the world is becoming more visible in all ways. People disclose their lives or most parts of it on Facebook, Twitter, and other ways that are seen by hundreds of "friends" and possible others, too. My teacher was saying that in ten years we will be laughing that we thought "audio recordings of our actions in public was something to be hesitant about" and saying that everyone will be used to having their lives in the public domain, it will just be written in their minds that it is "normal."
He was making the point that everyone wants to be normal, so if it is normal that everyone is hooked into social media to such a great extent, then everyone will do it. Likening it to the fact of everyone having a mobile phone now: if you don't, you aren't normal, you are strange; cell phones have become basically necessary since it is how everyone communicates. He then asked the class "who wants to be strange, or doesn't mind being excluded from society or regarded as normal?" I raised my hand. To hell with Society! Bah!
This is making me almost choose to not get a cell plan over here at all. Who WANTS to be normal? Not I and especially not on the platform that it means being so plugged in to the digital environment that I am losing touch with the REAL WORLD AROUND ME. The lands I travel to, the BOOKS I READ, the sights I see; if they are all seen through a lens of virtual existence then what even IS there?!
I hope that as a global community we don't continue to slide down this slippery slope, and that people will realize technology is a tool not a lifestyle.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Day 19: Pasta is Cheap and Pasta is Good.
Sunday, a day of rest.
Yes, indeed. I slept in.
I watched many episodes of Arrested Development. Which I also did yesterday.
I went grocery shopping with my last 14 pounds and now have 57 pence left. Alas, have no fear, for my bank account is opening, so I just have to transfer my money, shrink it, and boom it'll be ready to use!
I then made some bread and some pasta, left the dough to rise and the pasta to sit in the 'fridgerator, while I made my way to St. Mary's Cathedral for the first time since I've been here, to go to my second mass of the weekend and my second choir. Yes, that's right, I've found myself included in two choirs now.
Tea at the church after mass with a couple "already" friends and several new ones was nice. Zoli was a-playin' on the gee-tar. All the Indians were yelling in different languages and making fun of their respective states and laughing, while me, the American, Zoli, the Hungarian, and Martha, the Czech, plus Evelyn, the Old Lady, were left in unawares. Good times. We were eventually shooed out of the church when we found ourselves right outside in a brief sing-along session to Adele, Train, and the likes. We are currently in the planning stages of a karaoke night to come.
We walked back, and I popped the bread in the oven and ate my pasta. And I just have to say. Pasta is good without doing much to it. Carlay, I'ma give you a shout out, because I know you are Patron of Meager Toppings, and I can appreciate that. Some cheese, garlic and olive oil was all I had-- and all I needed-- to fully enjoy my dinner. Being poor isn't the worst. Just gonna be carb loading for a while, ya dig?
Now I suppose I shall do some work or something.
Good night. Good weekend.
Hello, Week.
Yes, indeed. I slept in.
I watched many episodes of Arrested Development. Which I also did yesterday.
I went grocery shopping with my last 14 pounds and now have 57 pence left. Alas, have no fear, for my bank account is opening, so I just have to transfer my money, shrink it, and boom it'll be ready to use!
I then made some bread and some pasta, left the dough to rise and the pasta to sit in the 'fridgerator, while I made my way to St. Mary's Cathedral for the first time since I've been here, to go to my second mass of the weekend and my second choir. Yes, that's right, I've found myself included in two choirs now.
Tea at the church after mass with a couple "already" friends and several new ones was nice. Zoli was a-playin' on the gee-tar. All the Indians were yelling in different languages and making fun of their respective states and laughing, while me, the American, Zoli, the Hungarian, and Martha, the Czech, plus Evelyn, the Old Lady, were left in unawares. Good times. We were eventually shooed out of the church when we found ourselves right outside in a brief sing-along session to Adele, Train, and the likes. We are currently in the planning stages of a karaoke night to come.
We walked back, and I popped the bread in the oven and ate my pasta. And I just have to say. Pasta is good without doing much to it. Carlay, I'ma give you a shout out, because I know you are Patron of Meager Toppings, and I can appreciate that. Some cheese, garlic and olive oil was all I had-- and all I needed-- to fully enjoy my dinner. Being poor isn't the worst. Just gonna be carb loading for a while, ya dig?
Now I suppose I shall do some work or something.
Good night. Good weekend.
Hello, Week.
Day 17&18: Ice Cream Factory
Thinking of names for these blog posts has become the bane of my existence.
Friday was a good day: class, then I went to choir practice, and then to a "movie" with some of the St Peter's young adults. Except the movie wasn't actually playing when we thought it was playing, so we settled for Pizza Hut after a long period of indecisive wandering. I had already eaten dins, so I got the "Ice Cream Factory" which is just all you can eat ice cream and toppings from their ice cream bar. Two bowls did me good. That was the first true ice cream I've had since I've been here, and I needed it. Hanging with Christine, Harin, Bruno, and Sean was quite fun, too. They got a little taste of my ridiculousness, loud laugh included.
Saturday, I literally did a whole lot of nothing, until I had to leave to get to vigil mass. I sang with the choir up in the choir loft, pretending like I was someone, except we hadn't even practiced the vigil hymns, so I didn't know them, except two which I knew just from growing up Catholic. But yeah, I caught on and blah di blah. We then went to the BISHOP'S HOUSE. Like, this is something that happens commonly over here. These kids, they just go and chill with the bishop. I mean, it was a designated event with adoration and a talk, but still, he knows all of them by name and is always around, and it's crazy. I guess their diocese (is it the same plural?) are just smaller over here because it's a smaller country, so there can be more interaction as such.
The talk was given by Sister Andrea from I-forget-the-order-name, but they help women in Crisis pregnancies. Good talk. On Sex and Babies. Always a good topic, eh? And I guess it was fitting given the readings for this Sunday, all that "men-and-women-shall-not-be-separated" stuff.
There was an intercession in the middle where we stopped for tea, and Bruno and I ate like 400 pounds of sour cream and onion chips, but it was just so good, because you know when you reach down to take a potato chip, assuming its Regular and that it will only be mildly good, but then its Sour Cream and Onion and the next thing you know you are in Chip Heaven and you JUST. CANT. STOP. YOURSELF. Well, whether you've experienced this or not, it's what happened.
Also, if anyone is wondering how I so casually didn't talk about getting involved in the church choir, thennn, yeah. I guess it takes me flying across an ocean to decide to want to sing for anyone. It's weird though.
Friday was a good day: class, then I went to choir practice, and then to a "movie" with some of the St Peter's young adults. Except the movie wasn't actually playing when we thought it was playing, so we settled for Pizza Hut after a long period of indecisive wandering. I had already eaten dins, so I got the "Ice Cream Factory" which is just all you can eat ice cream and toppings from their ice cream bar. Two bowls did me good. That was the first true ice cream I've had since I've been here, and I needed it. Hanging with Christine, Harin, Bruno, and Sean was quite fun, too. They got a little taste of my ridiculousness, loud laugh included.
Saturday, I literally did a whole lot of nothing, until I had to leave to get to vigil mass. I sang with the choir up in the choir loft, pretending like I was someone, except we hadn't even practiced the vigil hymns, so I didn't know them, except two which I knew just from growing up Catholic. But yeah, I caught on and blah di blah. We then went to the BISHOP'S HOUSE. Like, this is something that happens commonly over here. These kids, they just go and chill with the bishop. I mean, it was a designated event with adoration and a talk, but still, he knows all of them by name and is always around, and it's crazy. I guess their diocese (is it the same plural?) are just smaller over here because it's a smaller country, so there can be more interaction as such.
The talk was given by Sister Andrea from I-forget-the-order-name, but they help women in Crisis pregnancies. Good talk. On Sex and Babies. Always a good topic, eh? And I guess it was fitting given the readings for this Sunday, all that "men-and-women-shall-not-be-separated" stuff.
There was an intercession in the middle where we stopped for tea, and Bruno and I ate like 400 pounds of sour cream and onion chips, but it was just so good, because you know when you reach down to take a potato chip, assuming its Regular and that it will only be mildly good, but then its Sour Cream and Onion and the next thing you know you are in Chip Heaven and you JUST. CANT. STOP. YOURSELF. Well, whether you've experienced this or not, it's what happened.
Also, if anyone is wondering how I so casually didn't talk about getting involved in the church choir, thennn, yeah. I guess it takes me flying across an ocean to decide to want to sing for anyone. It's weird though.
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Day 15&16:TCB
Wednesday is the day that I shall focus on:
So, I didn't have class; I awoke and got myself a new patient appointment at the doctor's for next Wednesday, to get myself fully into the National Health System and be registered in Aberdeen. Then, I went to an optometrist right down the street from me and got an appointment for a free eye exam, because honestly I swear I lose more vision ability everyday. Maybe its the fact that I'm reading boards/computers again now, being back at school, so I'm noticing it, but who knows. We'll see the diagnosis soon enough, that appointment is for next Wednesday as well.
The biggest issue with maybe needing glasses is....HOWWW is this happening now? Pretty sure I spent most of my elementary years wanting glasses, to be like my dad I suppose, but then I came to realize it is much better that I don't have them: I don't have to worry about losing them, or breaking them, or paying for them, not to mention that I have never put on a pair of glasses I look good in...
Anywho, I then made my way to the Thistle hotel in Aberdeen, for a job interview at 2pm. I mean, I won't say I was surprised when she practically begged me to take the job, but I did help her off her knees, because it was causing me to blush to have people see her grovelling at my feet just to accept a part-time job. But in earnest, the interview went well, and I'm excited to start working! Boss Lady told me I'll be working with mostly students, so that will be a good way to continue to meet people.
Getting this job also secured the fact that I didn't have to go back that evening to the horrible hotel to see if I got that job. Which meant I had the rest of the afternoon and evening free, so I treated myself to purchasing JK Rowling's new book and a lollipop from the sweets shop down the road from my flat. I spent a couple hours reading at a little park right down the street that I discovered on my way to the doctor's earlier that day. Then, I was off to St. Peter's for a delicious meal and intro to the Alpha course which will officially start next week. They're doing the Alpha course in lieu of the usual Young Adults group, and basically its a 7-week course specifically tailored/condensed for students, but anyone is welcome, to get back into their faith, rejuvenate it, and just learn more. It was quite fun, I met up with my friend from last week, Rachael, and talked with a bunch of others I had previously met. I also met a few new people, including...........the guy who sat down to work at the table in the library where I was sleeping. I figured/hoped I would never see him again, but lo and behold, in this secular continent, he happens to be Catholic, too, and the first thing he says to me when he sees me is, "You're the girl who was sleeping in the library!" and then he proceeded to tell everyone around the story and the ridiculousness of it all. So that's cool.
Then today, Thursday, I went to classes, this was pretty much the first day where real work was done/discussed/due(in a loose sense). I came home and my eyes were so tired and my head was kinda achey, but I meant to go out and shop for groceries and then cook dinner since it was already 20 til five. Instead, I fell asleep until 9pm. Casual Abi move. Dinner with what I had here ended up being delicious anyways, the best pasta yet (tasted like pizza from Busch Garden's Festhaus, if you can understand that) and roasted green beans in olive oil and Parmesan.
So, I didn't have class; I awoke and got myself a new patient appointment at the doctor's for next Wednesday, to get myself fully into the National Health System and be registered in Aberdeen. Then, I went to an optometrist right down the street from me and got an appointment for a free eye exam, because honestly I swear I lose more vision ability everyday. Maybe its the fact that I'm reading boards/computers again now, being back at school, so I'm noticing it, but who knows. We'll see the diagnosis soon enough, that appointment is for next Wednesday as well.
The biggest issue with maybe needing glasses is....HOWWW is this happening now? Pretty sure I spent most of my elementary years wanting glasses, to be like my dad I suppose, but then I came to realize it is much better that I don't have them: I don't have to worry about losing them, or breaking them, or paying for them, not to mention that I have never put on a pair of glasses I look good in...
Anywho, I then made my way to the Thistle hotel in Aberdeen, for a job interview at 2pm. I mean, I won't say I was surprised when she practically begged me to take the job, but I did help her off her knees, because it was causing me to blush to have people see her grovelling at my feet just to accept a part-time job. But in earnest, the interview went well, and I'm excited to start working! Boss Lady told me I'll be working with mostly students, so that will be a good way to continue to meet people.
Getting this job also secured the fact that I didn't have to go back that evening to the horrible hotel to see if I got that job. Which meant I had the rest of the afternoon and evening free, so I treated myself to purchasing JK Rowling's new book and a lollipop from the sweets shop down the road from my flat. I spent a couple hours reading at a little park right down the street that I discovered on my way to the doctor's earlier that day. Then, I was off to St. Peter's for a delicious meal and intro to the Alpha course which will officially start next week. They're doing the Alpha course in lieu of the usual Young Adults group, and basically its a 7-week course specifically tailored/condensed for students, but anyone is welcome, to get back into their faith, rejuvenate it, and just learn more. It was quite fun, I met up with my friend from last week, Rachael, and talked with a bunch of others I had previously met. I also met a few new people, including...........the guy who sat down to work at the table in the library where I was sleeping. I figured/hoped I would never see him again, but lo and behold, in this secular continent, he happens to be Catholic, too, and the first thing he says to me when he sees me is, "You're the girl who was sleeping in the library!" and then he proceeded to tell everyone around the story and the ridiculousness of it all. So that's cool.
Then today, Thursday, I went to classes, this was pretty much the first day where real work was done/discussed/due(in a loose sense). I came home and my eyes were so tired and my head was kinda achey, but I meant to go out and shop for groceries and then cook dinner since it was already 20 til five. Instead, I fell asleep until 9pm. Casual Abi move. Dinner with what I had here ended up being delicious anyways, the best pasta yet (tasted like pizza from Busch Garden's Festhaus, if you can understand that) and roasted green beans in olive oil and Parmesan.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Day 14: A Digital Age
Monday, Monday, can't trust that day.
But seriously.
All I had course-wise was my 9am lecture that wasn't held last week due to the holiday. So, it was the first time meeting Scotsman Roddy Smith, lecturer for my "Digital Age" course. The course was fine and well until we began to discuss how the digital age we're living in will eventually bring an end to hard-copy books.
Yes, yes I know things will continue to become digitized, and I understand the benefits of it in many aspects: need less room for storage, more easily accessible for everyone, and less cost to students buying textbooks per se. BUT to talk about how in a few years no one will be given textbooks, only e-books, and everyone will have an e-reader, the same as the shift to smart phones that started a couple years ago, is slightly mortifying. And when I say slightly, I am using that lightly. Because truly, my emotions were caught off guard and my convictions about this digital reading phenomenon surfaced not long into the class discussion. Yes, books will exist even after/if they stop being created, because no one is going to burn the ones in existence or anything, but the thought of a world where NEW books are no longer created, where kids don't wait in line for hours for the release of the next book in their favorite series or rush to the library/bookstore as soon as they finish one to gain the other, where people don't feel the pages in their hands and turn/fold/touch them til they're soft and brown, and where they can't smell a book to tell its age, but instead have a dead cold screen at their faces, is a depressing notion, and an unstoppable, confused sadness mixed with rage welled up inside of me. It was honestly a battle to keep tears from spilling down my cheek.
I was called to action. Yes, I have vowed to become a Keeper of the Books. And I hope many of you out there are with me, so that in my growing age I can join you at your houses and still see shelves full of your favorite and well-loved volumes.
It's funny because prior to class on Monday, I already had other new ideas spinning in my head from a whirlwind of a Sunday night. I've made a goal/challenge for myself: to not buy any clothing for myself during this year in Scotland. Following my thoughts from yesterday's blog, I just realized I was already becoming too wrapped up in creating for myself this new Scottish, postgraduate image. Not only do I not have money at the time to waste on frivolities of fashion, but once I do get money, they would still be a silly thing to spend it on (especially when there is so much delicious food to be eaten and so many great places to venture). If Scotland isn't fine with the Abi of the Cosby sweater, then it doesn't really matter anyways, because it's only a year that they have to deal with it. A second facet of this goal/challenge is, by the end of this year, since most of my clothing will have been well used/loved by me for years, I will cut myself from my attachments to them and donate them to a local thrift store, save my most cherished/necessary articles. This will let me lighten my shipping load on the return journey home, as well as giving me more room to tote the next part of my goal:
After Monday's class and the decision to be a Soldier for Physical Texts, I have decided that slowly and surely I must acquire any and all relevant/worthy/entertaining/classic texts which I can get my hands on, because even if I don't want to read them now and don't know when I will, I need to begin building my library to a greater extent so that in five years time, and longer, I will have a substantial testament to my dedication for the continued practice of reading books with paper pages.
Where is the magic in a mother scrolling through digital images as she reads her child a bedtime story? and where is the excitement in simply downloading the latest release? and where is the adventure in browsing through an electronically-produced list rather than foraging through stacks and stacks of colorful spines all aligned and waiting to be pulled off their shelves?
Also I went to Adoration on this feast of St. Therese of the Child Jesus and ate cake twice.
Good day. Stirring day.
But seriously.
All I had course-wise was my 9am lecture that wasn't held last week due to the holiday. So, it was the first time meeting Scotsman Roddy Smith, lecturer for my "Digital Age" course. The course was fine and well until we began to discuss how the digital age we're living in will eventually bring an end to hard-copy books.
Yes, yes I know things will continue to become digitized, and I understand the benefits of it in many aspects: need less room for storage, more easily accessible for everyone, and less cost to students buying textbooks per se. BUT to talk about how in a few years no one will be given textbooks, only e-books, and everyone will have an e-reader, the same as the shift to smart phones that started a couple years ago, is slightly mortifying. And when I say slightly, I am using that lightly. Because truly, my emotions were caught off guard and my convictions about this digital reading phenomenon surfaced not long into the class discussion. Yes, books will exist even after/if they stop being created, because no one is going to burn the ones in existence or anything, but the thought of a world where NEW books are no longer created, where kids don't wait in line for hours for the release of the next book in their favorite series or rush to the library/bookstore as soon as they finish one to gain the other, where people don't feel the pages in their hands and turn/fold/touch them til they're soft and brown, and where they can't smell a book to tell its age, but instead have a dead cold screen at their faces, is a depressing notion, and an unstoppable, confused sadness mixed with rage welled up inside of me. It was honestly a battle to keep tears from spilling down my cheek.
I was called to action. Yes, I have vowed to become a Keeper of the Books. And I hope many of you out there are with me, so that in my growing age I can join you at your houses and still see shelves full of your favorite and well-loved volumes.
It's funny because prior to class on Monday, I already had other new ideas spinning in my head from a whirlwind of a Sunday night. I've made a goal/challenge for myself: to not buy any clothing for myself during this year in Scotland. Following my thoughts from yesterday's blog, I just realized I was already becoming too wrapped up in creating for myself this new Scottish, postgraduate image. Not only do I not have money at the time to waste on frivolities of fashion, but once I do get money, they would still be a silly thing to spend it on (especially when there is so much delicious food to be eaten and so many great places to venture). If Scotland isn't fine with the Abi of the Cosby sweater, then it doesn't really matter anyways, because it's only a year that they have to deal with it. A second facet of this goal/challenge is, by the end of this year, since most of my clothing will have been well used/loved by me for years, I will cut myself from my attachments to them and donate them to a local thrift store, save my most cherished/necessary articles. This will let me lighten my shipping load on the return journey home, as well as giving me more room to tote the next part of my goal:
After Monday's class and the decision to be a Soldier for Physical Texts, I have decided that slowly and surely I must acquire any and all relevant/worthy/entertaining/classic texts which I can get my hands on, because even if I don't want to read them now and don't know when I will, I need to begin building my library to a greater extent so that in five years time, and longer, I will have a substantial testament to my dedication for the continued practice of reading books with paper pages.
Where is the magic in a mother scrolling through digital images as she reads her child a bedtime story? and where is the excitement in simply downloading the latest release? and where is the adventure in browsing through an electronically-produced list rather than foraging through stacks and stacks of colorful spines all aligned and waiting to be pulled off their shelves?
Also I went to Adoration on this feast of St. Therese of the Child Jesus and ate cake twice.
Good day. Stirring day.
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